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‘The Bachelor’ Parody Brings ROFL To ‘RPDR All-Stars 3’

Entertainment, Featured  

This week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars 3 was further confirmation that Milk is indeed a victim of the Bubble. You may already know that “The Bubble,” first introduced by 30 Rock, is a hallowed pocket of privilege in which attractive people live and believe they can do no wrong. Unfortunately, after being told their whole lives that they are pretty, these victims of the Bubble begin to believe that they can do things like “be praised for wearing an obscure Celine Dion outfit” and “earn a standing ovation for shouting through an improv scene.”

Truly, Milk’s fate was sealed the moment she stepped into the Werk Room and called herself “zaddy” this season. (The first rule of Zaddy is you do not call yourself Zaddy.) As RuPaul once said, “Ego loves identity. Drag mocks identity. Ego hates drag.” And since her ego was giant from the get-go, it was eventually going to weigh her down.

Honestly, Trixie should have gotten more credit for the brilliance she brought to The Bitchelor despite Milk’s rotten contributions. Her backhanded compliment of guest bachelor Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman was everything (“You kind of have this sexy Denzel Washington … Gilbert Gottfried look”), and her decision to get on the phone and undercut Milk’s maneuvers from the Nicolas Cage School of Acting was the best choice she could have made in that situation.

And speaking of The Bitchelor, can we as a society make this into a real show? Sure, there’s already technically a Bachelor parody out there (see: Burning Love), but this was surprisingly hilarious. Like, we could’ve done without Aja’s “Three Characters in One Special” and ChiChi’s “Social Anxiety Realness” approach to the challenge, but overall, this was very entertaining. Kennedy Davenport gave us a Master Class in fat-assed character improv, all the way down to her perfectly-timed reveal that she was a man. And Trixie was brilliant with her one-liners (“I like my men like I like my coffee … incapable of loving me back”) and her mercurial mood swings. (Can someone make a GIF of that moment when she spins around and puts on that perfect fake smile before talking to Jeffrey?) Ben was also great as the plastic-breasted Cougar, who chomped through more phalluses than a newly out gay man who’s just moved to WeHo.

Even RuPaul was hilarious with his obvious thirstiness for Jeffrey Juice. (Like, we’re not even sure this was acting.) After all, don’t we all want to see the real host of The Bachelor, Chris Harrison, run away with one of his leading men one day, merely to do Dancing with the Stars and then get divorced?

As for Shangela, she was shady AF this episode, but not in a fun way. Instead of giving Chi Chi material to work with like a good scene partner, she kept burdening her with questions (which is a BIG no-no in improv), and steamrolling over her lines. And she wasn’t even that funny! Her corny wordplay-heavy humor was the kind you’d find at Amateur Hour at a Catskills resort … but, like, a present-day Catskills resort. But Shangela knew, of course, that as long as she remained mildly funny next to Chi Chi, then she could throw her partner under the bus without it appearing that way.

And yet, Milk was the one to go home this week, despite her “Barbarella-meets-I-Dream-of-Weenie” look. But honestly, we’re sort of happy it was her and not Chi Chi, who remains charmingly modest and insecure despite having obviously improved her wardrobe and silhouette. Also, her admission that “every week it’s like Turd City” is basically the Grindr bio of a power bottom.

 

Other great lines:

Ben as The Cougar: “Have you ever taken out a catheter?”

Trixie on Aja as the Needy Girl: “The only thing Aja is insecure about is this scene.”

 

Jeffrey: “What’s your favorite part of my body?”

Kennedy: “That dick.”

 

Trixie on her runway look: “It’s a Tatianna ‘Same Parts’ Dennis the Menace fantasy.”

Ru: “Is that a good ombre or a bad hombre?”

Ru on Shangela’s popcorn hair: “You want some boy butter on that?”

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