kimmyschmidt

It’s A Miracle! ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ 2-Part Season 4 Debuts In May

Comedy, Featured  

Emmy-nominated (and, honestly, one of our fave pop culture obsessions) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is coming back to Netflix not once, but TWICE, in 2018. Sure, the new episodes will add up to the same total number of episodes as a typical season, but it will FEEL like more — and that’s what matters. Plus, you’ll…

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footlongfoles

Footlong Foles: Super Bowl MVP Allegedly Has Massive Dong

Comedy, Featured  

Okay, “sports fans.” If you were in Philly the night after the Eagles’ Super Bowl historic win last Sunday, or if you took part in the free-beer parade celebrating the new NFL World Champions, you might have been one of the rowdy fans tempted to climb a Crisco-covered light pole. Speaking of poles, some other…

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amyschumerifeelpretty

‘Pretty’ Funny: Amy Schumer Returns With Body Positive Comedy

Comedy  

Remember when people loved Amy Schumer? But then they hated her, because of a few problematic stunts and, well, sexism? Well, now people are loving her again. In her latest appearance on Ellen, Schumer showed up dressed like a baby — and while we kind of wish she had gone full “adult baby” and donned…

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baldfries

McDonald’s Fries May Cure Hair Loss, For Realz

Comedy  

People who still have decent digestive health might indulge in a large order of McDonald’s Fries—510 calories, 24 grams of fat, surprisingly only 350 milligrams of sodium (the FDA recommends limiting daily sodium intake to 2,300 milligrams; please note a pack of Top Ramen noodles contains 1,820 milligrams of sodium). Pishaw to those nutritional label…

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peach

I Fell in Love Three Times Before Timothee Chalamet F###ed Me

Comedy, Featured  

By: The Peach from ‘Call Me By Your Name’ Some peaches shoot for the moon. They see their friends and relatives pass from orchard to grocery store to human digestive tract, and strive for more. But their tragedy lies in their truth: They can’t pick who picks them. They can only rely on sheer luck…

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pencetrolled

Pence Neighbors Troll Him With ‘Make America Gay Again’ Sign

Comedy  

If you’re weary and feeling sad, just know that there’s an unsung hero in Aspen who’ll be your bridge over the troubled Trump administration. According to the Aspen Times, Mike Pence and his wife, Karen “Mother” Sue, recently came across a “Make America Gay Again” sign in the driveway of their Aspen vacation home, courtesy…

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tomoffinlanddoll

Truly Gifted: Tom of Finland Doll With Detachable Dongs Up For Grabs

Comedy  

Hey, folks, there’s a glimmer of holiday cheer out there—on eBay and here—in the form of a 13-inch male action figure with a selection of three detachable penises! In 2003, there was an unknown hero working with the Tom of Finland Foundation who conceived and manufactured an officially licensed doll in the Ken or GI…

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eminemgrindr

Promoting New Album, Eminem Teases Grindr Hookups

Comedy, Featured  

Sounds like Eminem has been cleanin’ out his closet again … starting with himself. (Eminem just came out of the closet.) (Not really, but we’re rolling with it.) The “rap god” just took a break from promoting his not-universally-acclaimed new album, Revival, which features the science lesson “Walk on Water,” to “joke” that he meets…

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putinitin

Gay Erotica ‘Putin It In Trump’ And More Promise Sexytimes Between Vlad, Donnie

Comedy  

Have you ever wanted to know what President Donald Trump would say in a gay porn with Vladimir Putin? Well, look no further than Putin It In Trump, which is a masterpiece of gay erotica that includes this actual sentence: “Donald wanted the Russian to make his butthole great again.” In fact, you can find…

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airobot

Rumored RPDR Season 10 Drag Queen Aquaria Stuns As Sophia The Robot

Comedy, Entertainment  

If you’re a fan of technological progress or of monitoring all the different ways that humans are bringing about their own destruction, then you may have heard about Sophia the Robot. As the world’s first humanoid robot, Sophia is already a bit of a celebrity — but lately, thanks to her subtle shadiness and witty…

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