rogerstonebush

Nasty Barbara Bush Comments Get Trump Crony Roger Stone Fired From Gig

Featured, Politics  

We always assumed that in order to get kicked out of a country club, you’d have to: (a) accidentally misquote Caddyshack, (b) maliciously set fire to a VHS copy of The Legend of Bagger Vance, or (c) be friends with more than one Muslim. But thanks to Trump crony, sentient fart and recipient of the world’s…

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weibo

China’s Messaging Platform Weibo Bans, Then Unbans Gay Content After Outrage

Politics  

In today’s installment of “WTF is going on in China,” the country recently banned and then un-banned a bunch of gay content on its messaging platform Weibo, which is essentially Twitter but with less Donald Trump rants. After announcing on Friday that it would soon purge “pornographic, violent and gay-themed cartoons, pictures, videos and articles”…

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comeybook

James Comey Pours The Tea, Trump Administration ‘Mob Family’

Politics  

With his sad eyes, frowny stare, and salt n’ pepper seriousness, James Comey isn’t the kind of guy you’d expect to sit down for a kiki. But alas, he was the life of the kiki last night when he sat down with George Stephanopoulos for a shadefest of historical proportions on “20/20.” In addition to…

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trumpnationalenquirer

Tabloids And Toddlers: National Enquirer Paid To Kill Trump Love Child Story

Featured, Politics  

In the first ever occasion of “The National Enquirer” and “serious news” being associated together in the same article, the Associated Press reported today that the Enquirer once paid a doorman $30,000 to keep him quiet about information that would have hurt Donald Trump’s campaign. Reportedly, the recipient of the hush money — a former…

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trumpflaminhot

Flamin’ Hot Cheeto: Trump Twitter Meltdown Alerts Russia To Incoming ‘Nice, New, Smart’ Missiles

Politics  

President Donald Trump started Wednesday morning like any adult baby – scared, confused, and lacking control over his own fingers. First, the 71-year-old loofah fired off a surprising tweet about Russia and Syria, vowing to send “smart” missiles at Syria and daring Russia to stop him. “Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice…

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melaniabot

As Scandals Swirl Around Her, Melania Attempts To Reassure Middle Schoolers

Featured, Politics  

Yesterday, thanks to an unexpectedly poetic would-be fluff piece from People Magazine, we received a hilarious, disconcerting gaze into the ironic life of Melania Trump. In the piece, which nominally set out to cover Melania’s “listening session” with a group of middle-school students on Monday, a “tumbling water glass” became a sublime, literary metaphor for…

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zuckerberggoes

Mr. Zuckerberg Goes To Washington

Politics  

Facebook Inc. Chief Executive Mark Zuckerberg will finally face the music today when he steps in front of the Senate Judiciary, Commerce, Science and Transportation committees to discuss his company’s mishandling of data from up to 87 million unsuspecting Facebook users. Reportedly, the Zuck will apologize for said mishandling of data and “show contrition” for…

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princeharrymeghan

In Lieu Of Gifts: Royal Couple Ask For Donations To Homeless, HIV, Other Charities

Featured, Politics  

Half the world is jealous of her and the other half is figuring out how to Single White Female their way into her life — so what’s a royal princess to do with all that attention? One-up the haters, obvi. As critics across the land continue to waste their money on Cheetos and Adderall for…

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