westborobain

Westboro Bigots Protest Gay Football Star, Town Rallies To Support Him

Featured, Politics  

Love, Simon opens in theaters this week, but In Ladue, Missouri, there’s an inspirational gay teen movie happening right now in real life — and so far, we’re giving it five out of five Molly Ringwalds. After star football player Jake Bain came out at Ladue’s private John Burroughs prep school this past fall, the…

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nevertrumpdating

Grindr For The Resistance: New Dating Site Welcomes LGBTQ Trump Haters

Featured, Politics  

In response to all the controversy surrounding the recently unveiled homophobic pro-Trump dating site Trump.Dating, the American Liberal Council is launching its own pro-queer anti-Trump dating site — and its name is (you guessed it) NeverTrump.Dating. According to the ALC, the site is catered towards people who believe in “tolerance and justice” — which means…

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rodmantrumplilkim

Is Dennis Rodman Behind Proposed U.S., North Korea Talks?

Featured, Politics  

In 2013, retired pro basketball player, amateur cross-dresser Dennis Rodman became one of the first known Americans to have met with North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un — and now, possibly, he is the first person to have helped set up a face-to-face meeting between a U.S. President and a North Korean leader. Oh,…

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trumpparade

Draft Dodger Trump’s $30M Military Parade Marches Forward

Featured, Politics  

Trump’s plans for a military parade are marching ahead, country be damned. Twitter slacktivists are rightfully pointing out that the Veteran’s Day parade will cost the government about $30 million — a number that could feed all of the country’s homeless veterans 393 times over. Trump’s proposed fiscal budgets have, of course, specifically targeted the…

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religiousassholes

Anti-LGBTQ Bill Co-Sponsored By Cruz, Rubio Reintroduced In Senate

Politics  

In yet another indication that the Republican Party is out of step with the majority of Americans, several of the party’s top senators are co-sponsoring an anti-same-sex marriage bill. The news comes less than a year after Pew Research Center reported that over two thirds of the country currently supports same-sex marriage.   Sexually frustrated…

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obamanetflix

Netflix And Thrill: Obamas Negotiating Streaming Service Production Deal

Politics  

Good news for anyone wondering where TF Obama is and why he hasn’t saved our country yet. (So … everyone.) Reportedly, Baracky and Michelle are in “advanced negotiations” with Netflix to produce a series of shows that will once again provide them with a national platform. This is the greatest news we’ve gotten this year…

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betsydevosbitch

Betsy DeVos Visits Parkland, Pets Dog, Chats With 3 People, Avoids Questions

Featured, Politics  

U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos flew out of her cave again Wednesday morning to descend upon Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and leave a trail of DeVostation in her wake. Unfortunately for her, those Parkland kids were already lined up with Twitter fingers at the ready. “Betsy Devos came to my school, talked to…

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gunchurch

American Gun Worship: Nutso Church Sanctifies Assault Rifles

Featured, Politics  

We already know that America worships guns, but this is taking things to a whole ‘nother level. Hundreds of believers at a Pennsylvania church (where else) participated in a ceremony Wednesday which — we kid you not — declared assault rifles to be magical objects sent from God. Quoting from a Revelations verse in the…

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hopehicks

White Liar, Trump Adviser, Communications Director Hope Hicks To Resign

Featured, Politics  

The malfunctioning Brooke Shields clone Hope Hicks refused to testify against her fellow White (House) Staffers when in front of the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday, which would normally get a person subpoenaed. However, because Congress is corrupt AF and the Republicans are all suckers for a beautiful woman who doesn’t care about her rights,…

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