trumpparade

Draft Dodger Trump’s $30M Military Parade Marches Forward

Featured, Politics  

Trump’s plans for a military parade are marching ahead, country be damned. Twitter slacktivists are rightfully pointing out that the Veteran’s Day parade will cost the government about $30 million — a number that could feed all of the country’s homeless veterans 393 times over. Trump’s proposed fiscal budgets have, of course, specifically targeted the…

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religiousassholes

Anti-LGBTQ Bill Co-Sponsored By Cruz, Rubio Reintroduced In Senate

Politics  

In yet another indication that the Republican Party is out of step with the majority of Americans, several of the party’s top senators are co-sponsoring an anti-same-sex marriage bill. The news comes less than a year after Pew Research Center reported that over two thirds of the country currently supports same-sex marriage.   Sexually frustrated…

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obamanetflix

Netflix And Thrill: Obamas Negotiating Streaming Service Production Deal

Politics  

Good news for anyone wondering where TF Obama is and why he hasn’t saved our country yet. (So … everyone.) Reportedly, Baracky and Michelle are in “advanced negotiations” with Netflix to produce a series of shows that will once again provide them with a national platform. This is the greatest news we’ve gotten this year…

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betsydevosbitch

Betsy DeVos Visits Parkland, Pets Dog, Chats With 3 People, Avoids Questions

Featured, Politics  

U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos flew out of her cave again Wednesday morning to descend upon Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and leave a trail of DeVostation in her wake. Unfortunately for her, those Parkland kids were already lined up with Twitter fingers at the ready. “Betsy Devos came to my school, talked to…

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gunchurch

American Gun Worship: Nutso Church Sanctifies Assault Rifles

Featured, Politics  

We already know that America worships guns, but this is taking things to a whole ‘nother level. Hundreds of believers at a Pennsylvania church (where else) participated in a ceremony Wednesday which — we kid you not — declared assault rifles to be magical objects sent from God. Quoting from a Revelations verse in the…

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hopehicks

White Liar, Trump Adviser, Communications Director Hope Hicks To Resign

Featured, Politics  

The malfunctioning Brooke Shields clone Hope Hicks refused to testify against her fellow White (House) Staffers when in front of the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday, which would normally get a person subpoenaed. However, because Congress is corrupt AF and the Republicans are all suckers for a beautiful woman who doesn’t care about her rights,…

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staceydashclueless

Conservative ‘Clueless’ Star Stacey Dash Running For Congress

Featured, Politics  

Clueless star Stacey Dash is now running for Congress in California. That’s a sentence best read literally. While many of you will know Dash as the fabulously dressed Dionne, the best friend of Alicia Silverstone’s character in Clueless, others of you will know her as a dumb-as-nails conservative commentator who will do anything for attention….

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trumptydumpty

Trump And His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Monday

Featured, Politics  

If you’re having a bad Monday, then just take comfort knowing that President Trump is having the Mondayest of Mondays. In addition to currently rocking the lowest approval ratings of his presidency — and of any modern presidency ever, for that matter — he just hit a major roadblock in his quest to make America…

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danaloesch

NRA Spokesmodel Dana Loesch Is the Worst

Featured, Politics  

If you spent the weekend camping out in the remote crisp desert or hiking in the highlands of a forested winter wonderland, you were lucky enough not to see that Dana Loesch was trending all over social media. The slick spokesmodel of the NRA has been making the rounds of news shows, vehemently earning all…

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