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Haute Topic: Funko ‘Drag Race’ Dolls Coming Soon

Entertainment  

On Friday, Funko announced it is releasing a line of Pop! Vinyl RuPaul’s Drag Race figurines, which means that all your favorite drag queens will soon have heads the size of Alyssa Edwards’ back rolls.

Alaska, Trixie, and RuPaul will be the first queens to receive the treatment, and will be available at Hot Topic stores starting in mid-January. Btw, did you know Hot Topic already carry a lot of RuPaul’s Drag Race merchandise? Color us old, but we always thought Hot Topic was a place to buy band tees and studded rainbow belts for your openly gay teenager.junko

Apparently, the denizens of the Internet have been begging for these figurines for a while, and even created a Change.org petition to get them produced. (Again, color us uncool, but aren’t Change.org petitions supposed to be for, like, saving the Earth?)

It’s unclear whether Funko plans to make a Katya doll which falls into a death drop and wiggles its junk across the shelf every time you press a button on its back.junko

Actually, while we’re on the topic, Funko should also create a Mimi Imfurst doll which picks up all the other dolls at inappropriate times and hurls them across the room. Ooh, and a Valentina doll which just sits in the corner and refuses to do anything.

Then, they should make it so that you can combine all the dolls into a ginormous MegaFunko doll with a head you can see from space. The MegaFunko doll’s main purpose will be to fight the Power Rangers Megazord with its gymnastics and wit, thus forcing the Megazord to quickly surrender and then cower in submission while questioning his own sexuality. Then the MegaFunko doll will throw back its impossibly large head and laugh forever.junko

Hopefully, the dolls will keep you occupied until the January 25 premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3 on VH1.

 

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