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Ignoring Security Advisors, Trump Congratulates Putin On Election ‘Win’

Politics  

President Trump is reportedly conducting a White House-wide witch hunt after news got out that he congratulated Russian President Vladimir Putin on his rigged election win — despite a memo in Trump’s possession that very plainly said “DO NOT CONGRATULATE.” According to CNN, both Trump and his chief of staff John Kelly are fuming as they try to figure out which one of Trump’s aides leaked news of his call to the press.

“If this story is accurate, that means someone leaked the President’s briefing papers. Leaking such information is a fireable offense and likely illegal,” said one senior White House official to CNN on Wednesday.

In an effort to help expose the truth, we at Flagrant have made the difficult decision to release the transcript of a video of President Trump’s actual call with Putin Tuesday morning. The video is courtesy of Rex Tillerson, who caught the exchange on a hidden camera that he planted before he left the White House last week.

National Security Advisor: “OK, Mr. President, let’s keep this call quick. Just acknowledge his election, lightly condemn his actions in Britain, then get off the phone ASAP so that we can deal with these 360 administration positions that you still haven’t filled after a year. Oh, and Mr. President? DO NOT CONGRATULATE HIM.”

President Trump: “But he won. That’s what you do when someone wins — you congratulate them.”

National Security Advisor: “Not this time, Mr. President. He didn’t win his election fair and square. I even wrote down a helpful three word memo for you to read while you’re on the phone with him. Can you read it?”

President Trump takes the memo and silently sounds out the words before reading aloud:

President Trump: “DO … NOT … CONGRATULATE.”

National Security Advisor: “That’s right, very good Mr. President! Now repeat it back to me without looking at the memo.”

President Trump: “DO … CONGRATULATE.”

National Security Advisor: “No, no, no — Do NOT congratulate. Do you understand, Mr. President? Say it again now.”

President Trump: “DO … NOT … CONGRATULATE.”

National Security Advisor: “Yes, yes, very good! Now say it one more time.”

President Trump: “DO … NOT … CONGRATULATE.”

National Security Advisor: “Excellent! Alright, I think we’re ready now! Here you go, Mr. President.”

He hands President Trump the phone.

President Trump (into phone): “Mr. Putin, CONGRATULATIONS …”

National Security Advisor commits himself.

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