Earlier this week, the Oval Office became the site of a Mensa meeting in which some of the world’s biggest problems were swiftly and definitively solved forever. J/k, it was a meeting between Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump.
KK and DT have a lot in common: They’re both reality stars, they’re both attention-seeking narcissists, and they both have no idea how government works. And yet, it was inspiring to see them come together despite their differences — not the least of which is that one goes viral around the world for her social media posts, while the other uses social media posts to cause viral epidemics of fear over impending nuclear war. Oh, and Kim actually talks to the Eric Trump of her family (Rob Kardashian.)
But Kim wasn’t there to fool around. She was there to discuss prison reform — after, of course, joking about how she and Donald Trump were both incredibly rich and famous (one via sex tape, the other via questioning Obama’s birthplace.)
Kim K reportedly discussed a presidential pardon for Alice Marie Johnson, who has served more than 20 years in prison for a first-time, non-violent, low-level drug offense. Earlier in the day, Kim tweeted, “Happy Birthday Alice Marie Johnson. Today is for you,” followed by the prayer hands emoji.
“I would like to thank President Trump for his time this afternoon. It is our hope that the President will grant clemency to Ms. Alice Marie Johnson who is serving a life sentence for a first-time, non-violent drug offense,” Kardashian West said in a statement Wednesday night. “We are optimistic about Ms. Johnson’s future and hopeful that she — and so many like her — will get a second chance at life.”
So today, after his groundbreaking and life-changing meeting with Kim Kardashian, Donald Trump instead pardoned Dinesh D’Souza, a radically racist conservative documentarian guilty of felony federal campaign finance charges.
So that’s America folks. Two needy, selfish fame whores who contribute nothing to human progress convened for a meeting that resulted in a viral selfie. What a time to be alive.