Sentient Fart Alex Jones Compares Lesbians To Serial Killers

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Ugh, Alex Jones keeps getting LGBTQ people mixed up with uncontrollable psychopaths, and honestly we’re so over it! In his latest rant, the sentient brain fart compared “so-called liberal lesbians” to serial killers who want nothing more than to cut out women’s brains and make them their heterosexual slaves.

Jones started out relatively tame on Friday’s episode of Infowars, with just a subdued, softball accusation that all lesbians are inherently domestic abusers.

“Most of these butch lesbians, they want to be the guy smacking the hot chick around,” said Jones, who is definitely friends with enough lesbians to be considered a lesbian expert. “They think that’s manly. And a lot of the chicks, they like it, see, because no man will do that to them, and I’m not saying it’s good if a man does that, but some women like it.”

So basically, Jones thinks human women spend all of their waking moments desperately waiting to be abused. And that’s not even the craziest part of his rant. He went on to describe a full-on American Horror Story situation:

“[The lesbians] are gonna put that devil mask or that piggy mask on. They’re gonna say, ‘Now I’m gonna torture you for about six weeks, so start begging for your mommy or your daddy.’”

Aside from the fact that we’d really love to know what sort of lesbian porn Jones watches, we’re a little confused about this next part, in which he conflates lesbianism with being a serial killer:

“They want to get you in a dungeon. They want to strap you down and take a buzz saw and cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin and pull it off and get a little spoon and go, when you’re looking in the mirror — this is one thing I know they like to do — they go, ‘I’m going to eat your brain now.’”

That’s the “one thing” he knows they like to do? So basically, he can’t verify that lesbians “cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin,” but he can definitely verify that, in between scissoring and fingerblasting each other, all lesbians must at some point say, “I’m going to eat your brain now?” Clearly he must have misheard that tidbit when he recently sat down with the Ambassador of the Lesbian Community for a 15-minute business lunch. Also, THAT was the one thing the Lesbian Ambassador decided to verify for him? Not that, idk, she’s excited The L Word is back?

If you want to watch the rest of the rant, which miraculously gets even more unhinged, check it out below.

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