Survivors of the first Hurricane Bianca are few and far between, but those who are still with us will remember it as one of the worst storms of the century. It started out strong — a potentially deadly cyclone drawing from the combined forces of Bianca Del Rio, Rachel Dratch, and some other people — but then immediately weakened after thirty minutes and caused millions of homosexuals to die of boredom. Truly, the emotional costs ranged in the billions of dollars — and FEMA was nowhere to be found.
But for those masochistic storm chasers out there, there’s another Hurricane Bianca about to make landfall — and it looks just as dumb. Judging by a recent trailer for Hurricane Bianca 2: From Russia with Hate, the force of nature that is Bianca Del Rio will soon be traveling to the minefield that is Moscow to suck unlucky queens like Katya, Darienne Lake, and Mrs. Kasha Davis into her terrible movie franchise.
We can only hope that the sequel is better than the original — but for now, we only have this trailer to go off of. Apparently, in Hurricane Bianca 2, Rachel Dratch’s character sends Bianca on an unlikely mission to Russia to pick up a teaching award. However, this fake mission coincides with Russia’s ongoing roundup of homosexuals (led by Coach Bieste from Glee), and thus catapults everyone towards disaster. It doesn’t take long for the mission to literally go up in flames. At one point, Katya shows up to make everything else worth it.
Most of the jokes in the trailer are as dusty as your granny’s VHS copies of “Hee Haw.” Del Rio aka Roy Haylock is not credited as a writer on the feature. A pity, considering Del Rio’s a quick-witted comic, usually ready with a stiletto-sharp putdown.
Hurricane Bianca 2 will also star camp champs Cheyenne Jackson, Janeane Garofalo, Wanda Sykes, Shangela, and a character who is literally just called Wiki Leaks. The film will be available on digital May 18. Check out the trailer below.