On this fine morning, we bring you the news that our country’s one openly gay Ambassador is actually just an ass, unadorned.
Just hours after accepting his post as a levelheaded diplomatic emissary between America and Germany, Richard Grenell decided to just throw it all to hell and start a Twitter war with Germany.
“German companies doing business in Iran should wind down operations immediately,” wrote Grenell on the social media platform, in what sounded less like a gentle call to cooperation and more like a violent ultimatum from a man holding an entire post office hostage.
The announcement came just after President Trump announced the U.S. would be leaving the Iran nuclear deal, which was already a controversial and stupid move before Grenell decided to make it worse.
So, let’s break this down, shall we? Does Grenell really think Germany is just going to be like, “Yah, OK,” simply because he tweeted at them? There’s no indication that any countries besides the United States are planning to back out of the groundbreaking Obama-era deal, so why would Germany suddenly agree to honoring the U.S.’s sanctions while staying in the deal? Hell, Grenell didn’t even mention in his tweet what the consequences of doing business in Iran would be. Like, is everyone in Germany about to die a horrible and painful death? We need to know.
But alas, ladies and gentlemen: This is your brain on Republicanism.
The worst part, of course, is that Grenell is a gay Republican — and thus one of the most prominent representatives of our community in higher government right now. He even has the endorsement of none other than Harvey Milk’s nephew, Stuart Milk. Oh, wait, no: That guy’s awful, too. Upon Grenell’s confirmation in April, Milk said he believed Grenell’s confirmation would “send an important message” about the gay community having a place in the Trump administration. We’re still waiting on all those important, positive messages from the White House.