Thomas Dekker, an actor who’s played roles as diverse as young Donny Osmond and gay pioneer Lance Loud in TV movies, has revealed publicly that he’s not only gay but that he’s married to a man. The 29-year-old’s revelation comes days after American Gods producer Bryan Fuller gave a speech at Outfest, Los Angeles’ LGBTQ film festival, in which he referenced the challenges he faced from a young unnamed actor’s management team who threatened to pull him from the show if the character was revealed to be gay. Fuller, believing Dekker to be publicly out, stated before the audience, “The character became straight, and the actor came out as gay.”
It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to sleuth the identity of the actor and connect the dots to Fuller, with whom he’d worked with on Heroes. Anyway, it’s hard to fault Fuller seemed to want to illustrate the importance of our culture needing openly LGBTQ actors and the ongoing insidiousness of management and publicity teams after their 10 percent and who want their clients to cater to as broad a demographic as possible.
As Dekker noted on social media, “Because I have not ‘officially’ until this moment. I simply refuse to be robbed of the glorious joy that belongs to me. To say the words myself. ‘I’m gay’. Those words are a badge of honor that no one can steal.” It seems no real harm has been done.
Dekker’s full statement is below and you can scroll down further for video of Fuller’s speech.
My sexual orientation once again came into question this week when a prominent gay man used an awards acceptance speech to “out” me. While he did not mention me by name, the explicit details of his reference made it easy for the public and media to connect the dots.
While it is an odd situation, I thank him because it presents a prime opportunity for me to publicly say that I am indeed a man who proudly loves other men. In fact, this April, I married my husband and I could not be happier.
I have never lied to the press about the fluidity of my sexuality but this man claiming that I came out is not true. Because I have not “officially” until this moment. I simply refuse to be robbed of the glorious joy that belongs to me. To say the words myself. “I’m gay”. Those words are a badge of honor that no one can steal.
Sexuality and who you love is a deeply personal and complicated thing. For some of us, it takes time to cultivate, discover and conclude. It is not something anyone should ever be ashamed of and certainly not something anyone should be rushed into.
I agree with many who believe it is an important responsibility for LGBTQ persons with a platform to come out. It has the power to change minds, challenge beliefs and make others feel understood and supported. It can strengthen the progression of our community and help disarm those who discriminate against us. It is a brave, powerful and important thing to do but it is also a deeply personal decision. One that should only be made when you are ready.
If we are to stand strong in the gay community, our mission should be support, not exclusion; love, not shame. I choose not to look back on the past with a regretful heart but rather focus on the future with a hopeful one. A future where myself and all others can feel free to express their true selves with honor and dignity.
I embrace you, any of you, with open arms, kindness, faith and patience. For all of you who have supported me, before and now, I thank you from the bottom of my fledgling heart.
Be proud of who you are. No matter how long it takes.