You may remember Josh Hutcherson as Peeta Mellark in the Hunger Games universe, but that adorable baker’s boy is no more. Peeta has gone from burning bread to cumming on his co-stars.
In Future Man, which premieres on Hulu November 14th, Hutcherson plays a janitor and video game enthusiast who gets roped into helping two warriors from the future save the human race from extinction. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the two warriors visit Hutcherson when he’s, uh, mid-moment, and Hutcherson’s load lands on a handsome man named “Wolf.” (We swear this isn’t a porn we made up; this is literally what happens.)
“I wanted to do [Future Man] because it was something vastly different than what I’ve done before,” said Hutcherson at a roundtable interview at New York Comic Con this past weekend. “It’s stepping outside that comfort zone, and it’s doing something original and unique.”
Um … yeah, that’s one way to put it! But considering Hutcherson is on record saying that he’s “mostly straight” and might consider a gay relationship one day, we think it’s safe to say that this might not be the last time he cums on a guy named Wolf. Ooh, yes, we went there! Needless to say, we will hold onto Hutcherson’s “mostly straight” quote for as long as it takes to squeeze every last delusional drop of fantasy out of it — even if that day is 70,000 years from now. Or later.
Hutcherson, who got hooked into production by executive producer Seth Rogen after working with him on The Disaster Artist, said he revelled in the amount of cum on set.
“We have a cumshot specialist,” he explained. “He has a little syringe … They have to adjust the cum levels and the speed in which it hits, where it hits, the viscosity.” And as if we weren’t already picturing Hutcherson discussing with some faceless man where to put his own cum, Hutcherson added, “We’re actually sitting around discussing, ‘No, I think the cum should hit with more impact.'”
We swear we didn’t intend this post to become what it is, but honestly, it really is just writing itself at this point.
Anyway, there’s also some stuff in Future Man about the world of video games and whatnot. Co-creator Kyle Hunter explained, “Hutcherson’s character is desensitized to violence in the video games, but when confronted with actual violence he does not have the stomach for it in real life.”
Cool. That’s really smart, and probably an incisive commentary on the ongoing debate over violence in video games, and we’re also really excited for … Oh, for the love of Christ … We just pictured Josh Hutcherson cumming on Wolf again. Sorry, Kyle Hunter. That’s really just the only reason we’re going to watch this. We appreciate all that you do. We just can’t change who we are.