Manly App Allows You To Become The #Basic Gay Of Your Dreams

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Thanks to a popular app called Manly, catfishing just got a hell of a lot easier.

The app, which became available last year, allows men to photoshop pictures of themselves so that they can have abs, tans, arm muscles, tattoos, and beards. Essentially, it helps men become our society’s “male ideal” — but without any of the work, OR self-respect. It also means that that perfect 10 you’re talking to on Grindr right now probably has about six less abs than you originally thought. (If you’re doing the gay hook-up math, that makes him a 4.)

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Body positive activists have, of course, decried the app’s implication that there’s only one right way to be a man.

“Apps like Manly play into the damaging narrative that to be considered an attractive man, you need to look a certain way, making it extremely toxic for impressionable young men,” said Denise Hatton, co-founder of the Be Real Campaign.

It goes without saying that this Manly app is also further isolating gay men who don’t fit a certain masculine stereotype. After all, queer men already push themselves to illogical extremes to achieve perfect bodies, and the shittier among us reject those who don’t play the game.manly app

But with that being said, what is Manly’s real purpose? Other than insisting to users that they desperately NEED it to become Instagram stars, what does Manly do for us, as consumers? Will Manly cover the costs of your unopened bottle of wine when your date shows up and realizes you don’t actually have a tattoo, tan, arm muscle, or even a single body hair, and that you’re actually 5’3” with a third nipple and an unabsorbed twin partially protruding from your chest, like that alien baby that burst out of that dude’s stomach in Total Recall?

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“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, it must have been an old picture,” you’ll cry, as your date hurries away and attempts to dodge the chicken wings that your unabsorbed twin has begun throwing at him.

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Surely, this app can only be used to turn every picture of yourself into a photo of Ryan Gosling. Then, one night, you’ll find yourself masturbating to one of these pictures, before suddenly remembering that the guy in the picture used to be you. And then you’ll cry yourself to sleep.

If that sounds like fun, you can find the Manly app here.

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