Yesterday, the producers of Big Little Lies sent shock waves across the nation when they announced the most important news that any of us have gotten since the 2016 election: Season two of Big Little Lies is going to feature Meryl Fucking Streep.
Meryl Fucking Streep is reportedly going to appear as the mother of Perry Wright (Alexander Skarsgard), the abuser and sociopath who [REDACTED] in the season one finale. (This is a spoiler-free zone, suckers.) Considering how generally awful Perry is, we can only assume that Mrs. Wright is more Miranda Priestly than Julia Child. Following that logic, we’re expecting Mrs. Wright at one point to deliver a lecture on the importance of cerulean while staring into the mid-distance on a porch of a Monterey beach home.
This also means that Meryl Fucking Streep is going to be co-starring with Nicole Kidman for the first time since 2002’s The Hours. And unlike in that beautiful meditation on depression, sexuality, and Nicole Kidman’s prosthetic nose, Streep and Kidman will actually be sharing scenes together. (Streep and Kidman were in two completely different time periods in The Hours.) So here’s hoping there’s an episode that’s literally just Nicole Kidman and Meryl Fucking Streep screaming and crying in a room together for thirty minutes. And then hopefully their agents both submit that SAME episode for Emmy consideration. And then hopefully Nicole Kidman and Meryl Fucking Streep BOTH get Emmy nominations. And then hopefully ONE of them actually WINS it and causes the other to LITERALLY scream and cry in a room alone for thirty minutes IN REAL LIFE. And when Meryl inevitably wins, Kidman can clap weirdly so her diamond bracelets don’t bang together.
Oh yeah, and Reese Witherspoon can pop her head in for a line or two and just, like, be happy to be there.