Jimmy Kimmel announced on Twitter last week that adult film star/alleged Trump side-piece Stormy Daniels will appear on his show Tuesday following Trump’s State of the Union address, adding that he has “MANY QUESTIONS” for the “gifted” Daniels. It’s unclear if by “gifted” he meant “able to play ‘Go Tell It On the Mountain’ on the harmonica” or “able to take three 13-inch-cocks at a time,” but either way we’re not questioning it.
It’s also unclear if Daniels will even answer Kimmel’s questions. When she appeared on Inside Edition Thursday, she merely smiled when asked directly if she had a sexual relationship with Trump, which is infuriating since she knows she’s only on TV to answer that one question. It’s not like Jimmy Fallon is about to invite her on his show to play “Madlibs: Porn Edition.”
Our guess is that Daniels is milking her notoriety to land a deal for her inevitable book about the affair (Fat and Furry: Inside Trump’s White Ass), and that she’s probably still under agreement not to publicly disclose any information about the months-long affair she detailed in an exclusive interview with In-Touch Weekly from 2011 which was finally published last week. Or perhaps the Trump administration offered her even more money to keep her mouth shut. Either way, this is annoying and we hope she’ll just admit to the whole thing so we can go back to complaining about other things.
Fun fact: a group of super fans tried to persuade Daniels to run against Louisiana Republican senator David Vitter in 2010. Vitter was a staunch conservative, anti-choice, pro-guns advocate who campaigned against same-sex marriage and the Affordable Care Act. This is the same “families values” politician who admitted to hiring escorts offered by the notorious “D.C. Madam” in 2007. Vitter ran for governor of Louisiana in 2015, but was soundly defeated by Democrat John Bel Edwards.