Is Harrison Ford just not doing it for you anymore? Don’t worry, there’s a new Solo in town, and he is sexy af.
A trailer for the new Star Wars spinoff film Solo dropped last night, and the new actor playing young Han Solo is as rugged and mysterious as they cum. Sorry, cum. COME. Jesus.
In between gruffly talking to robots and sexily piloting his ship through the coils of a giant, writhing space penis, Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) also kicks it with Chewbacca and chats up Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons.
You may remember Ehrenreich from his role as the hunky, dumb-as-nails Western action star who sparred with Ralph Fiennes in Hail, Caesar! In that movie, he used his rough-around-the-edges charm to convey taciturn stupidity; in the case of Solo, he uses that same quality to embody Harrison Ford’s rakish zaddy-ness.
Anyway, the trailer also hints at some thrilling fighter pilot races, which suggests the movie is basically The Fast and the Furious Goes to Space. There are also appearances by Donald Glover as Lando, Daenerys Mother of Dragons, Thandie Newton (the sexy robot Maeve from Westworld!), Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Fleabag, Crashing) and Woody Harrelson, who seems to be playing his Hunger Games character again, except also in space.
You may recall that this movie was originally going to be directed by two goofy guys who directed the critically-acclaimed Lego Movie, before producers switched them out for the decidedly less cool Ron Howard. (Seriously, he’s like America’s grand-uncle.) Apparently, the movie’s title also pissed off fanboys because it so obviously hammered home the idea that Han Solo goes through life, like, solo. But seriously, who gives a fuck about fanboys and their irrelevant opinions about movie titles? The new Han Solo is hot, and we would gladly ride his, er, Millennium Falcon.