Pauline Hanson Hasn’t Met You, But She Hates You Anyway


Pauline Hanson, a far right Australian leader who looks like a shriveled up version of Rosalyn Harris, a random evil vampire from True Blood, has voiced concerns that same-sex marriage could lead to polygamy and even pedophilia.

While 61.6% of Australians have indicated their support for same-sex marriage, Australia’s Parliament still has to officially vote on a bill legalizing it. In a debate in Parliament over the issue, Hanson argued, “My concern is that in time to come, the Parliament and its members could at any time change to include multiple marriages, marriages of people under a certain age.”

So basically, Harris seems to think that same-sex marriage is a gateway drug for pedophilia. Perhaps she’d be right if 61.6% of Australians ALSO believe that pedophiles are awesome and should be legitimized by their nation’s government — but that’s highly unlikely. Only the American government does that.

Hanson went on to pose the vital question, “What do we do as a society when we get to a stage when these kids [of same-sex parents] are going to school and … the teacher says ‘I want you to draw a picture of your mum and dad or grandma and grandad?’ The kid is there saying, ‘What am I going to do? I don’t have a mum or a dad – it’s Peter and Sam’. ‘It’s Elizabeth and Amanda.’ They’re not known as mum and dad.”

We’re confused. Is kindergarten different in Australia? Does a child’s ability to pass kindergarten hinge on one final, timed evaluation in which he must draw a picture of his parents? Is it like an SOL exam where if he doesn’t follow the rules exactly (“draw a picture of your Mom AND Dad”) then he flunks out of school and starts doing heroin? Or is Pauline Hanson just a batty old homophobe who’s never had an orgasm in her life? We’re going with the latter.


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