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And Then There Were 7: ‘Drag Race All Stars 3’ Episode 2 Cuts The Wrong Queen

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Despite trying every Hail Mary in the Reality Competition playbook — claiming sabotage, threatening violence, talking over Vanessa Williams — Thorgy has not made it through to next week’s All Stars 3. Honestly, we’re kind of bummed, since she is a FoF (friend of Flagrant) and a fierce, creative queen on and off the show. However, she could use a bit of image rehab after her “sore loser” act this week. (She’s definitely the first person in the history of the show to draw an ejaculating penis using lipstick.)

Thorgy seemed to be getting a “loser’s edit” fairly early in the episode when she announced to an entire room of drag queens that she couldn’t win as Stevie Nicks. Well, yeah, if you say “I’m not going to win” before you’ve even started something, you’ve literally set yourself up for failure.

Rupauls Drag Race All Stars Season 3 No GIF by RuPaul's Drag Race - Find & Share on GIPHY

But that being said, Thorgy’s performance wasn’t nearly as inconsistent as the judges would have us believe. She played Stevie’s witchiness to a T, and her character was very difficult to make funny (as opposed to, say, literally every other diva on this episode.)

But then again, when has saying “I’m surprised to be in the bottom” ever stopped anyone from being in the bottom, unless they were literally talking about bottoming? Also, when Thorgy told BenDeLaCreme she “could not predict” how she’d react to being eliminated, we thought she meant she was going to, like, vomit Exorcist-style and hurl Kennedy into the wall like a coked-out She-Hulk. But then all she did was say “Jesus” and look mildly disappointed, before walking out of the room and not punching a single drag queen in the face.

But on the OTHER hand, Thorgy DID have to deal with some lackluster choreography from Todrick Hall. Like, yeah, he had difficulty working with her because she was a “Stevie Nicks purist,” but he also made questionable choices like making Mariah Carey her backup singer. Mariah Carey would NEVER be a backup singer.

But THEN AGAIN, Thorgy probably shouldn’t have “gotten in her head” and talked over VanessaFuckingWilliams, no matter how displeased she was with her judges’ critiques.

So, as you can see, we are v conflicted over the fact that Thorgy went home instead of Kennedy, despite Kennedy’s “Fried Chicken the Sequel” look, which will go down in history as just as dumb as her “Fried Chicken the Original” look. But we also weren’t surprised that Shangela chose the bitch who said, “I would choose my friends over $100,000” over the bitch who said, “If you eliminate me, I will exact violence upon you all.”

Episode 1 Lol GIF by RuPaul's Drag Race - Find & Share on GIPHY

Kennedy also said backstage, “I think mentally I’ve grown to be a better me,” which should be immediately superimposed over a picture of a white woman doing yoga in front of a sunset.

Anyway, Shangela nailed her challenges this week, despite her annoying “Method” acting. (Seriously, she thinks she’s Meryl Streep because she showed up a minute late and called a bitch “Dahling?”) Her actual lip sync as Mariah was perfection, and her “Zorbing Barbie” look was a stunner. Also, side-note: Whoever does the actual vocalizations for this show’s “diva lip syncs” should get, like, a Grammy, because they are v talented.

Chi Chi was also pretty fantastic as Patti LaBelle, and super did not belong in the bottom three. We would have chosen Milk, who was giving maybe 2% effort (get it?) as Celine Di-off. (Get it??) Also, her post-challenge breakdown was slightly delusional, and she NEVER TOLD VANESSA WILLIAMS THAT SHE LOVED ERASER.

Line of the week (it’s a tie!):

Ru describing a neon look: “Why it gotta be blacklight?”

Trixie on Milk’s breakdown: “I think that’s a lot of emotion for ‘safe.’”

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