Hey, folks, there’s a glimmer of holiday cheer out there—on eBay and here—in the form of a 13-inch male action figure with a selection of three detachable penises!
In 2003, there was an unknown hero working with the Tom of Finland Foundation who conceived and manufactured an officially licensed doll in the Ken or GI Joe tradition but sculpted in the Tom of Finland aesthetic with exquisite anatomical precision.
The posable figure, “001 Rebel,” is dressed in a high-quality leather jacket and pants, a cropped white T-shirt and motorcycle boots. The 001 Rebel comes with a variety of three interchangeable penises, one uncut. Indicia on the bottom of the figure stand states the limited-edition product comes with extra sets of manly feet and hands. Other accessories include two condoms (“Yours and his,” the smaller rubber for the doll) stamped with the Tom of Finland trademark, dog tags and item certificate, a Touko Valio Laaksonen—aka Tom—bio and Tom of Finland art samples. Alongside 001 Rebel product descriptions are such declarations as “Adults Only 21+” and “ADULTS ONLY!” as well as “(choking hazard!).”
Photos of 001 Rebel in various poses and states of undress (always with erection) show fine craftsmanship, notable in the removable and posable hands that easily accommodate any of the plastic cock choices. All moveable body parts are ball-jointed. Oh, right, the figure has a head! The rugged face and masculine jawline has resemblance to actor John Hodiak, Judy Garland’s romantic lead in The Harvey Girls. The hair is a pompadour a la John Travolta as Danny Zuko in Grease. If that last detail doesn’t make you swoon, perhaps 001 Rebel is not for you.
An armchair vintage appraiser could guess that 001 Rebel is a first in a series of unlimited action figure possibilities for the Tom of Finland brand. Alas, a quick eBay search proves otherwise, with only a smattering of 001 Rebel figures starting at about $55 a pop. You better snap one up, collectors.
Here’s a blast from the past – a Tom of Finland fashion show from 1998: