White Liar, Trump Adviser, Communications Director Hope Hicks To Resign

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The malfunctioning Brooke Shields clone Hope Hicks refused to testify against her fellow White (House) Staffers when in front of the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday, which would normally get a person subpoenaed. However, because Congress is corrupt AF and the Republicans are all suckers for a beautiful woman who doesn’t care about her rights, Hicks got off without a hitch.

But in the end, Hicks just couldn’t take her licks. In a shocking blow to the Trump administration, Hicks — one of Trump’s most trusted advisers, despite being a model with zero political experience — decided to resign. 

Hicks’ suspicious timing of her decision could mean she’s willing to start working against the administration, and not for it — or it could just mean she’s a messy b who loves drama and who wanted to make the most of her temporary spotlight this week.

That aforementioned spotlight appeared earlier today after Hicks admitted during her House testimony that she had, on occasion, told “white lies” on behalf of the President — which is so gracious and real of her! Awesome, wow! What a stellar citizen for being honest about that!

LOL, just kidding. That isn’t news, girl! Your boss was on track to have lied 8,000 times just by the end of his first term as president! This country is now literally being powered by lies! There’s probably an actual lie turbine on Capitol Hill that is converting lies into votes and renewable energy right now!

Also, Hicks apparently consulted with her lawyers before telling the House Intelligence Committee that she had not lied about matters related to Russian election interference — which, OK. She literally drafted a White House statement in July which responded to questions about an infamous 2016 meeting between Trump campaign officials and RUSSIANS, but OK! (Side-note: Wtf kind of lawyers does Hope Hicks have? Do they understand what “under oath” means? Did their law school teacher have a lisp, so on the day when they learned about “under oath,” they assumed she was just saying “under oats?” Was Hope Hicks’ lawyer actually just Ivanka Trump continuing her career of “Professional Dilettante” by “trying out the whole law thing,” but just for a day?)

In any case, it doesn’t matter now because she doesn’t work for the government anymore. We wish her the best in her future endeavors. “Dancing With The Stars” is always looking.

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