antarctica

Antartica To Hold First Ever Pride Event In June

Featured, Politics  

Forget San Francisco, y’all. Antarctica is the new gayborhood.

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On April 22, 10 employees of McMurdo Station, Antarctica’s biggest research station, planted a rainbow flag in anticipation of the continent’s Pride celebration in June.

In addition to gays in Antarctica having a better excuse to call each other “frigid bitch” during Pride weekend now, this means that Antarctica is officially our planet’s only gay-friendly continent. Should we be happy or sad about that? Did our queer ancestors rise up at Stonewall because they hoped that one day there would be a Pride Parade on a freezing desolate mountain where there are no bears, just penguins, and the weather is def not ideal for drag?

Are there even any gay people in Antarctica? Or did these 10 employees just set out the flag in the hopes that the photo would attract a gay person to their continent, like a bear to honey? Is there just one lonely gay man named Steven plus four closeted trade?

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Are there even any gay bars, or is the gay bar just Steven’s bed at night? How does Grindr work? Is Grindr literally just Steven and the four closeted dudes? (Cut to: Steven checking his Grindr again. “Nope, just us five again.”)

Oh. Upon reading two more paragraphs into this article, we have learned that there are, in fact, several openly queer people working at McMurdo Station. In fact, the station’s population can grow to up to 1,200 during the summer season, ie, October to February.

Moreover, GLAAD and other organizations are celebrating the move to make Antarctica gay-friendly:

“With crackdowns and rollbacks to LGBTQ equality happening around the globe, it’s heartening to see this showing of pride from one of the most remote places on the planet,” said Zeke Stokes, a vice president at GLAAD.

Still, we’re not done asking important questions. Like, do gay Antarcticans call anal sex “colonizing the South Pole?” And now we’re done.

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