As planned and hoped for by White House Chief of Staff John F. Kelly, Trump trudged through his “official” visit to Asia these past several days with restraint and perhaps a guise of decorum.
Throughout some notably measured speeches, Trump sufficiently recited from teleprompters the theme that he would be putting America first (we know he means Corporate America) when proceeding with future trade agreements.
Toward the end of his visit, like a preschooler holding it together until mommy takes him home for lunch followed by a nap, miffed Trump began to act out, to the press and on Twitter, natch.
Firstly, he had interacted three times with Russian President Vladimir Putin during photo-ops at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit held in Da Nang, Vietnam, where the buddies were photographed in matching royal-blue roomy blouses (a good look for Trump as it hides his girth).
“He said he didn’t meddle. He said he didn’t meddle. I asked him again. You can only ask so many times,” Trump told reporters on Saturday while aboard Air Force One on the way to Hanoi.
Apparently Tantrump was fuming about the investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 election, and blew off steam by berating former intelligence officials.
“I mean, give me a break, they are political hacks,” Trump said. “So you look at it, I mean, you have Brennan, you have Clapper and you have Comey. Comey is proven now to be a liar and he is proven now to be a leaker. So you look at that and you have President Putin very strongly, vehemently says he had nothing to do with them.”
Stateside, that investigation headed by special counsel Robert Mueller is progressing at full speed, with Count Dracula lookalike Stephen Miller—allegedly the “senior policy advisor” in George Papadopoulos court documents—most recently taking a turn in the hot seat.
On Sunday, Toddler-in-Chief could not control his tiny texting fingers and sent out a host ludicrous huffy tweets that targeted the “haters and fools” who want to investigate his ties to Russia, as well as “crooked” Hillary. Most laughable (with nuclear-war tears) is his reaction (finally) to Kim Jong-un’s denouncement of Trump’s tour of the region, calling it a “warmonger’s visit,” once again accurately calling Trump a “dotard” (lunatic old man), and recommended American citizens impeach Trump or be subject to an “abyss of doom,” which must be a Black metal song lyric.
“That prompted an indignant response from Mr. Trump,” Mark Landler summed up perfectly in The New York Times, “who seemed more offended by the gibe about his age than about his mental condition.”
Founder of FriendlyAtheist.com Hemant Mehta tweeted this excellent commentary on Trump’s reaction to the North Korean leader:
This tweet is so childish, Roy Moore wants to date it. https://t.co/Keuq7hq5z8
— Hemant Mehta (@hemantmehta) November 12, 2017
On the last leg of this trip, Trump traveled to the Philippines, appearing alongside President Rodrigo Duterte, living proof of the long-lasting negative effects of colonialism. Since being elected to president in May 2016, Duterte, who promised his presidency would be a “bloody one,” has encouraged vigilante citizens of the Philippines to carry out extrajudicial killings of suspected drug users. By some accounts more than 3,000 people have been murdered because of this policy. The White House claims that Trump, who appears to have a great rapport with Duterte, “briefly” brought up human rights concerns during their meeting in Manila. A spokesperson for Duterte denies this claim. The two buddies appeared together in matching blouses (seems to be a running theme with Trump and his authoritarian #besties4ever), probably toasting their mutual hatred for Obama.