Everyone’s out here wondering if Beyonce is going to allow the members of Destiny’s Child to leave their cages for a day to perform at Coachella, but we’re also interested in whether World War III starts all because of a tweet from a queer musician from Seattle.
Mike Hadreas, otherwise known as Perfume Genius, is stoking the flames of a long-burning feud between him and Eminem. Well, it’s actually less of a feud and more of a one-sided barrage of insults that Hadreas has hilariously lobbed at Eminem from his sassy corner of the Internet for the last three years.
As soon as Hadreas learned Wednesday morning that he’d be performing at Coachella as part of (a generally underwhelming) lineup including Beyonce, The Weeknd, Haim, and Tyler, the Creator, he tweeted out, “For everyone asking … Yes I plan on fighting Eminem at Coachella. I want to joust,” which seemed to make good on a promise he made on Twitter in 2014 to “destroy” Eminem with his “witch glance.”
Hadreas also attracted attention in 2014 when he created “Feminem” shirts that featured an image of the formerly homophobic rapper in drag. At the time, he called Eminem an “asshole” and “boring,” which is honestly a pretty accurate description these days.
Feminem, for his part, has not responded to all the drama, but Hadreas’s one-sided feud is still worth investigating — if anything because it will lead you to his near-perfect Twitter account. In addition to goading Feminem, Hadreas has shared such musings as, “If I was the Bachelorette I’d have all the guys line up while I sing [Sarah McLachlan’s] ‘building a mystery’ and then just sort of gently smack them around.” (As for us, we would figure out which ones are the accountants that season and then have them do our taxes.)
We’d also be willing to pay extra for front seats to the Great Eminem/Perfume Genius War of 2018. While Feminem will no doubt deploy an army consisting solely of the Feminem clones from his “Walk on Water” video, Perfume Genius will likely call upon the hundreds of anonymous dancers from their “Wreath” music video. (If you haven’t seen it, check it out.) While Eminem’s clones will blindly march forward, empty-eyed and praying for the sweet release of death, Perfume Genius’s dancers will mercifully end the clones’ lives in a stunning display of improvised choreography. It will be the first World War to deploy tight, inspired twirling as a weapon of mass destruction.
Oh, and the rest of the Coachella lineup includes SZA, St. Vincent, Bleachers, Fleet Foxes, Cardi B, Miguel, Jessie Ware, and many others (see attachment, pleeeeeaaase).