countesslouanndrunk

Dashboard Confessional: Cop Cam Reveals RHONY Luann Death Threats

Comedy  

Real Housewives of New York star Luann de Lesseps used to consider herself “New York Royalty” due to her courtesy title of Countess following her divorce from French Count Alexandre de Lesseps in 2009. But then she married a normal non-royalty American rich guy in 2016 and lost the title of Countess — and it all went down from there.

As de Lesseps relinquished the title of Countess, she also seemed to relinquish all the dignity and understanding of etiquette that came with that title. After all, that’s the only possible explanation for the grown-ass woman’s drunken arrest in Florida (where else) in December 2017, in which she actually threatened to end the lives of several police officers.

Or maybe she really is just a drunken trainwreck. Who knows and who cares? We’re just inappropriately loving the fact that the same woman who “sang” the autotuned single “Money Can’t Buy You Class” in 2010 is now threatening the lives of her fellow humans. It’s almost like “Money Can’t Buy You Class” is actually about Luann. Full circle moment!

If you’re looking for a more specific play-by-play, de Lesseps was filmed screaming, “I’ve done nothing wrong! I’ve done nothing wrong!” while being stuffed into a police car, before claiming, “I’m gonna get you big time … you gonna be so bad,” and finally just showing her hand and saying, “Don’t touch me. I am going to kill you! I’ll kill you!”

De Lesseps recently rejected a plea deal for her charges of disorderly intoxication, resisting arrest, battery of an officer, and making threats against a public servant. However, she’s probably rethinking this decision now that the entire country knows she’s an addled psychopath hellbent on ending the innocent lives of anyone who lays a hand on her. Money can’t buy you class, indeed — or a good parole deal, it seems.

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