Draft Dodger Prez Memorial Day Message Praises Self, Twitter Claps Back

Featured, Politics  

You may be a fascist if you spend half of your day gaslighting your allies and constituents on social media. But you’re only a true fascist if you start gaslighting the dead ones, too.

Today, Donald Trump celebrated Memorial Day by tweeting that “those who died for our great country would be very happy and proud at how well our country is doing today. Best economy in decades, lowest unemployment numbers for Blacks and Hispanics EVER (& women in 18years), rebuilding our Military and so much more. Nice!”

Excuse us, does he really think he can just tell these dead people what to feel? His gaslighting may have worked on the idiots who voted for him, but dead people have a lot more walls up — such as the physical barrier of not being alive. Also, would dead people really be happy about unemployment numbers going down? Wouldn’t they be more happy if, like, the number of cures for death went up?

Perhaps it just makes Trump feel less sad and hated when he says that dead people 100% support him. After all, no one can prove him wrong! They’re a built-in voter base!  

Predictably, Twitter did not take kindly to Trump’s boasting and gaslighting. In fact, people seemed to completely drop their Memorial Day barbecues today and instead settled for a Memorial Day Roast.

For example, the increasingly sassy replied: “Memorial Day is defined as ‘a day set aside in most states of the U.S. for observances in memory of dead members of the armed forces of all wars.’ Not found: Economic reports.”

Lol. There was also this, from Colonel Morris Davis: “Even on Memorial Day when we pay tribute to those who answered the nation’s call and paid the ultimate price, 5-Deferment @realDonaldTrump pays tribute to himself. He should be ashamed, but shame requires a conscience.”

He then posted a picture of Donald Trump seductively lounging in bed in a bathrobe.

Colonel Morris Davis? More like Burn-el Morris Davis! *high fives self*

And just to twist the knife, here’s what Barack Obama tweeted on Memorial Day in 2011: “On this Memorial Day, I call on all Americans to come together to honor the men and women who gave their lives so that we may live free.”

Now go gorge yourselves on hot dogs, everyone.

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