Draft Dodger Trump’s $30M Military Parade Marches Forward

Featured, Politics  

Trump’s plans for a military parade are marching ahead, country be damned.

Twitter slacktivists are rightfully pointing out that the Veteran’s Day parade will cost the government about $30 million — a number that could feed all of the country’s homeless veterans 393 times over.

Trump’s proposed fiscal budgets have, of course, specifically targeted the country’s homeless: In the first month of his presidency alone, the number of homeless veterans in America increased by almost 600. But the hypocrisy of the move is not lost on most.

Anyone who paid attention to the 2016 presidential election may recall that Trump promised to treat veterans “with dignity, and with the respect they deserve.” Of course, the lazy toad-faced blob of incompetence also suggested at one point that all veterans with PTSD are weak of body and spirit, so it’s unclear that he even knew what a veteran was when he said the first thing.

Trump’s parade will reportedly feature “airplanes but no tanks” — since tanks would theoretically tear up the roads. Plus, thanks to Trump’s proposed budget for 2019, which is cutting 28.6% of the country’s transportation budget, Trump wouldn’t even have the money to fix the roads if he did fuck them up.

The parade will also feature “period costumes,” which directly contradicts Mike Pence’s orders of having all the women in the parade dress up like they’re in The Handmaid’s Tale.

Oh, and in case y’all were wondering: The $30 million that Trump is funneling into his military parade is roughly the same amount of money that he plans to cut from the Center for Disease Control and Protection’s HIV and AIDS programs. However, the money could also easily go towards Medicaid, or SNAP food stamps programs, or the freaking EPA — but, of course, the fate of the world’s polar ice caps is much less important than Donald Trump staging a military parade so that he can feel better about the size of his tiny hands and shriveled penis.

The parade is slated for Veteran’s Day, November 11, five days after a projected “blue tsunami” at the midterm elections would undoubtedly upset “cadet bone spurs.”

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