‘Fantastic Beasts 2’ Gets New Title, Cast Pic, Boyfriend For Dumbledore?

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If the newly released press information about Fantastic Beasts 2 is any indication, then the movie is definitely going to be … a movie. While it has officially been titled Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewald, that sort of just confirms what we already know: Grindewald, a.k.a. Johnny Depp with a Lost Boys hairdo, is going to be front and center. But will he and Jude Law’s Dumbledore get to make out??

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Fans of the Harry Potter series will recall that author J.K. Rowling retroactively made Albus Dumbledore gay back in 2007 (and in love with Grindewald), but she remains under a Silencing Charm about whether Law’s young Albus in the Fantastic Beasts films will be shacking up with Depp’s Grindewald. And while we’re not thrilled at the prospect of Dirty Depp adulterating Jude Law’s pristine lips, it would at least be good for representation or something.

On the other hand, Rowling never suggested in her 2007 retcon that Grindewald had ever returned Dumbledore’s affections, so it’s possible that Dumbledore will be portrayed as gay in the films while Grindewald will just be portrayed as his straight former-BFF. In that case, Dumbledore’s sexuality will probably just be addressed when he suspiciously steps out of a public bathroom with another wizard. (Their excuse? “We were just, uh, looking for another way into the Ministry of Magic.”)

In any case, the official synopsis of the film does little to indicate whether Dumbledore will be waving any of his fellow wizards’ wands. According to the film’s distributor, Warner Brothers, The Crimes of Grindewald will follow the powerful wizard as he is “gathering followers, most unsuspecting of his true agenda: to raise pure-blood wizards up to rule over all non-magical beings.” And if the parallels to a certain white supremacist leader aren’t already clear, the synopsis makes sure you know that the world of Fantastic Beasts is now “increasingly divided.”

All we want is for the movie to climax with an out-and-proud Dumbledore corralling the nation’s white supremacists and saying, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love yourself? Can I get an Aguamenti?” And then they all kiss platonically, realize the errors of their ways, and find Dumbledore a cool boyfriend.

Until then, here’s a scene from Wilde featuring a very young Jude Law enjoying a kiss and a cuddle with Stephen Fry.

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