Stranger things have definitely not happened than the recent revelation that the child-heavy show Stranger Things will now be getting its own line of dildos. Earlier in October, a company named Bad Dragon announced in a six minute ‘80s-style video that it will be producing a new sex toy line called “Stranger Dongs.” Oh, and get this — they’re all shaped like the child-eating Demagorgon.
Obviously, the company expects you to use these while you’re thinking about Chief Hopper or Jonathan or — in some cases (*cough* if you’re a lesbian *cough*) Barb — but it’s still a strange thing to think about. With all the childhood ‘80s nostalgia that the show carries, will the Stranger Dongs really be able to turn your sex life upside down? Or will every orgasm feel as strained as Winona Ryder’s acting?
What’s next? Butt plugs for season three? A Young Sheldon-inspired “Bazinga Baton?” A Disney-inspired “Mary, Pop It In” fleshjack? What is this world coming to?
Anyway, we’re going to go fantasize about Charlie Heaton’s stranger dong now.