Tanarchy in the U.K.! Rowling Plots Demonstrations If Trump Visits Britain


J.K. Rowling—the creative force responsible for making fantasy children’s books a lucrative literary genre—is coordinating demonstrations to counter a possible official visit to the U.K. from Melania Trump’s sweetheart deal, Spray-Tan-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

“Rather than crafting placards, I think we should enlarge Trump’s London tweets so they’re on camera everywhere he goes to ‘show support.’”

The tweets to which Rowling refers are barely informed brain-fart reactions to the June 3, 2017 deadly attacks in London, which derided the extremely popular Sadiq Khan, the city’s first ethnic minority mayor.

Though protesting this cheap suit with his own words will probably put a temporary kibosh on the U.S. Tweeter in Chief, some of Rowling’s friends and followers are also suggesting the silent treatment. The Melania kind on a grand scale.

Barton Bank @BartonBank

@AuntieWoofWoof @jk_rowling Turn up and turn your back to him all along the state procession route.”

Low-attendance numbers and dismal TV ratings (a cue from the 2017 U.S. Inauguration Day) are other options Brits are considering:

@HerbertGeorgeW @TakenAtDawn @jk_rowling He’s pretty obsessed w/crowd size.. Zero attendance would devastate him. Maybe anti-cheeto pub crawls instead?”

With the recent UK election results blowing up in Theresa May’s face, losing Parliament seats for Conservatives, and giving the Labour party stronger footing, perhaps no one, especially Dumbledore, will have time to fake it for a state visit from an (as Rowling puts it) “alarmist blowhard.”

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