Trump Jokes Pence ‘Wants To Hang’ The Gays

Featured, Politics  

One of the cardinal rules of character development — whether in writing or in life — is to “show, not tell.” Instead of outright calling your protagonist a dick, you show him blowing off a waiter. Instead of saying outright that you want to “hang the gays,” you just take away a few of their rights here and there. Sadly, while no one has accused the Trump-Pence administration of being good writers (or thinkers, or politicians …), they have now apparently decided to break that cardinal rule once and for all. In a profile of Pence published in the New Yorker on Monday, President Trump is quoted as joking that Pence wants to “hang them all” in reference to the LGBTQ community.

Trump joked that. He JOKED that. Sadly, there’s truth in comedy, and Pence has a history of voting against rights for queer people … so he probably really does want to exterminate queer people.

In addition to once declaring that the queer rights movement signaled “societal collapse,” Pence has voted year after year against pro-LGBTQ legislation. He opposed the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” he opposed a law that would prevent discrimination against queer people in the workplace, and he is reportedly supportive of the use of conversion therapy. And now he wants to hang us.

Well, Trump and Pence: you jumped the gun. You could have just kept up the charade of being “friends to the gays,” and allowed people like Milo Yiannopolous to convince themselves you’d never touch us. But now it’s becoming more and more clear with every passing day that you want nothing more than to destroy us.

So what do you think is going to happen? Do you really think we aren’t going to start planning our counter-offensive now? We have Matt Bomer, Anderson Cooper, and Andy Cohen on our side. Do you know how much they lift? Plus, do you really want Andy to sick the Real Housewives on you? They would make excellent cavalry members! And what about the members of the Broadway community? All of those years of learning choreo will make it a cinch to teach them battle maneuvers! And don’t forget our straight allies … They’re probably good for something too!

If you want to try and hang us, then go for it — but you ain’t gonna win. To be fair, though, your people have a lot of guns and our liberal/progressive armies will have a steeeeeeep learning curve in that sense. Eek.

In other news, Pence also apparently likes to make his daily visitors pray whenever they come to his office. And he wants to totally eradicate abortion as well. So basically, he’ll make an awesome President and we just can’t WAIT for Trump to be impeached!


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One Response to “Trump Jokes Pence ‘Wants To Hang’ The Gays”

  1. Micheal Swank

    What is your source for the quote you base this article on? I don’t doubt it is true, because it seems quite likely considering the history. I just want to know what your basing this article on.