Flamin’ Hot Cheeto: Trump Twitter Meltdown Alerts Russia To Incoming ‘Nice, New, Smart’ Missiles


President Donald Trump started Wednesday morning like any adult baby – scared, confused, and lacking control over his own fingers.

First, the 71-year-old loofah fired off a surprising tweet about Russia and Syria, vowing to send “smart” missiles at Syria and daring Russia to stop him.

“Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and ‘smart!’” he tweeted. “You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!” He soon added: “Our relationship with Russia is worse now than it has ever been … We need all nations to work together.”

Letting alone that “Gas Killing Animal” is a confusingly-phrased addition to the Trump Dictionary (Does that mean Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad is killing our “gas,” as in our good time? Because that is also true), we can’t help but notice that Trump is backtracking on his relationship with Putin once again. By chastising Russia’s support of Assad’s regime, Trump seems to be contradicting his former claims of being on good terms with Russia.

There’s also the blatant hypocrisy of President Trump declaring war over Twitter after criticizing North Korea for doing the exact same thing.

But let’s rewind again to this morning.

After his Gas Killing Animal tweet, Trump took a deep breath and had his second mental break of the day.

“Much of the bad blood with Russia is caused by the Fake & Corrupt Russia Investigation,” he tweeted at 9 a.m., merely an hour and a half after blaming bad blood with Russia on, well, Russia. He had earlier tweeted that the Russia investigation “takes tremendous time and focus,” during a period of time in which he could have been ending poverty.

So basically, Trump is now just blaming his current woes on anyone and everything. Perhaps the “Failing New York Times” had the right idea when they ran an op-ed yesterday accusing Trump’s motto of being “The buck stops anywhere but here.” Seriously, though, can the buck just stop already? We don’t care where it stops now. Just make it stop.

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One Response to “Flamin’ Hot Cheeto: Trump Twitter Meltdown Alerts Russia To Incoming ‘Nice, New, Smart’ Missiles”

  1. WSFaath

    She let Donald put his Cheeto dick inside her, any woman willing to fuck him has no soul or Morales. Completely ruined playmate McDougall for me, and I actually fapped to her in the past. Hope they all got incurable STDs, and dye from them