GOP Strategist Assails Huckabee Sanders’ Daily ‘Avalanche Of Horseshit’

Comedy, Featured, Politics  

The American people have been forced to accept a number of unfortunate realities in 2017, including the fact that Sarah Huckabee Sanders now descends every morning from her membranous ceiling pod to spout lies to the media and ensure her natural slime coating doesn’t stick to the press room podium.

GOP strategist Rick Wilson isn’t having any of it, however. In a recent interview with CNN’s Don Lemon, Wilson attacked Sanders’ pathetic defense of Trump’s recent slur against Native Americans by calling her a “serial, congenital liar.” Oh, OK, so that explains it then. Sanders didn’t CHOOSE to be a spineless, doltish gaslighter. She was born that way.

When Lemon asked — rhetorically, mind you — how Sanders could stand there at the podium and say, ‘Oh, it’s not a slur’ after President Trump called Sen. Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” Wilson chimed in and said,  “Don, the reason she does that is because her job is contingent on her being a serial, congenital liar in defense of Donald Trump’s latest outrages. She probably has some tiny, shriveled husk left in her soul where she realizes this is the wrong thing to do, but she does it anyway because otherwise they’ll replace her.”

He later added: “Few presidents go out and sling racial overt code words like that. Few presidents go out and crap on the dignity and legacy of people … and then send their press secretary out to answer questions in a way that isn’t saying, ‘Wow, the president regrets what he said today, he truly wishes he had not said that.’ Instead she goes out and tries to bury people in an avalanche of horseshit every day, because this is her job.”

To be fair, Sanders is better at casually lying to the American public than her predecessor Sean Spicer, who opted for ineffective bullying instead of unfeeling sociopathy. But until Sanders finally sheds her human form and crawls back underground to nest, we’ll just have to keep fending off her horseshit.

Here’s the incredibly awesome Fortune Feimster as “Sarah Huckabee Sanders” on Chelsea Handler’s Netflix series.


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