Hookups Shut Down: Craigslist Drops Personals Section

Featured, Politics  

If you’ve ever been a semi-closeted person with nothing left to lose, then chances are you’ve entertained the idea of cruising Cragislist’s personal sections. However, we regret to inform you that Craiglist’s personal sections have been reported as spam … permanently.  

On Thursday, the gargantuan classifieds site eliminated all personal ads in response to the Senate passing HR. 1865, which aims to crack down on websites that promote or facilitate sex trafficking. If you haven’t yet been compelled to send a strongly worded letter to Congress using Resistbot (text “resist” to “50409”), then now might be the time to take up the torch. Just think of the next generation that will never again know the joy of posting a two sentence ad in the gay personals section, only to receive several hundred dick pics within thirty seconds. This administration’s assault on the Free Internet has crossed a line, and must be stopped.

“Any tool or service can be misused,” wrote Craigslist in a statement. “We can’t take such risk without jeopardizing all our other services, so we are regretfully taking craigslist personals offline. Hopefully we can bring them back some day.”

Facebook is probably gloating in the corner right now about how it hasn’t deleted anything, despite playing a central role in the destruction of America and the Free World. But we have a feeling that the time will come when they’ll have to delete a popular feature to literally save lives, and then Craigslist will be the one gloating in a corner. After all, did Craglist collude with the Russians? No! Oh, wait, but their passive facilitation of sex trafficking has been responsible for the enslavement of over one million people in, er, Russia? Oh, shit! Well, maybe getting rid of the personal sections was a good idea then.

But if they take away Missed Connections next, we’re going to organize another march. #NeverAgain

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