Paint An Ugly Picture: Jim Carrey’s Latest Portraits Include Cohen, Hannity

Comedy, Featured  

Wipe that smile off your face, Mona Lisa. There’s a new masterpiece in town.

For the next installment in his “I’ve Had It” series (our words), Jim Carrey has created a portrait of Trump lawyer Michael Cohen that pays homage to the man’s 2015 quote in The Daily Beast: “I’m warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I’m going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting.”

And true to its origins, the portrait, titled Auto-moronic ASSphyxiation, is fucking disgusting. Cohen’s eyes are crossed and his face is seafoam green, and his gaping mouth provides full view of his licker and chompers. But in a weirdly beautiful twist, the words of his Daily Beast quote appear as frenetic graffiti outlining his face like those halos of light that outlined angels’ faces in Renaissance paintings. At first glance, the text appears to be a compelling mass of paint strokes; on second look, it appears to be poetry.

Other recent targets… subjects of the Carrey canon include Sean Hannity aka “Sean Manatee” with the caption, “some endangered species aren’t worth saving!” and recently appointed National Security Advisor John Bolton depicted as the Grim Reaper.

Carrey also created a portrait of Cohen staring blankly into the mid-distance with his mouth hanging open, but the less said about that, the better. When paired with its caption, “Is there a short bus to take ‘all the best people’ to prison,” the portrait appears to be making fun of differently abled people. Carrey is stooping to 45’s level there: it’s sad, offensive, and hypocritical.   

But that’s OK, we’ll just burn that portrait when we inevitably transfer Jim Carrey’s paintings to the Louvre in hundred years as part of a retrospective on “political art by rubber-faced geniuses who should have been nominated for like fifty Oscars.” Oh, and speaking of which: When is Carrey going to show up in the movies again? Or wait, is this all part of a weird marketing campaign for Carrey’s next movie, in which he defeats a totalitarian government using the sheer power of his ability to create satirical paintings? We’d pay for that.

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