parklandmaher

Parkland Student Activist Hangs Up On White House

Featured, Politics  

The Parkland teens are doing great at life and all that, but would it be so wrong to propose the idea of them having their own reality show? Reason #1: David Hogg, one of the most outspoken survivors of the tragedy, revealed to Bill Maher recently that he responded to a call from the White House by hanging up on them. Just imagine Hogg pressing the “End Call” button on his touch screen in slow motion as a sappy, inspirational song about loving yourself plays until the end credits!

(Cut to: Jared Kushner staring at his phone in shock for a few seconds, then collapsing into sobs in Ivanka’s arms.)

(P.S. The tagline for this show would obviously be “They messed with the wrong high schoolers.”)

Hogg, who along with Cameron Kasky and other Parkland survivors is planning a national #MarchForOurLives movement to protest government inaction over gun reform, went on Real Time with Bill Maher to explain his and Kasky’s amazing reasoning behind the movement.

“We want Americans to stop being afraid of demanding our politicians to take action. They work for us, we don’t work for them,” he said. “The #MarchForOurLives is us coming out and saying to our employees, you guys suck at your job.”

Lol, so basically their reality show is going to be The City, except instead of Diane von Furstenberg, it’s high schoolers — and instead of Whitney Port, it’s Donald Trump.

Additionally, Kasky and Hogg opened up about taking flack from conservatives for “not knowing what they’re talking about,” which is rich considering the President of the United States doesn’t know who Frederick Douglass is and still refuses to provide a definition for “covfefe.”  

In other news, Kasky and Hogg’s #MarchForOurLives rally was just bumped from the National Mall by a suspiciously unnamed student AV club that needed “two tables, two bikes and jump ropes” in order to film a “talent show” for a “project.” How much you wanna bet that there’s not actually any student group, and this is just some bullshit group that the White House made up to bump the Parkland kids? (No doubt, President Trump came up with the AV club idea after binging Everything Sucks on Netflix.)

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