And on the sixth week, BenDeLaChrist rose again.
After a season of hand-wringing over being the winner every goddamned week, DeLa finally bowed her saintly head and bestowed life upon us all. In addition to Ru-deeming herself and bringing back Morgana McMichaels (truly, their hug resembled The Creation of Adam), she eliminated herself and went out on a high gloat — er, note.
While some may clock DeLa’s very difficult decision — no doubt the most difficult decision of her long, immortal life — as calculated and disingenuous, we’re choosing to argue that it was merely calculated. She got to leave the show in memorable, dramatic fashion, and she got to perform a few good deeds while she was at it. While she could have done without the holier-than-thou attitude (“I think the actual title is more important to them than it is to me,” she declared from her Mount), she very clearly wanted to do right by her fellow queens. After all, DeLa has been open about her struggles with depression in the past, and as many of us know, depression tends to imbue people with empathy.
Or maybe Ben just wanted to stay on long enough to win $25K so she could finally adopt a child from a developing country.
But with all that being said, where the hell did that Wite-Out come from? Has that been there the whole time?? And for what purpose??? We refuse to accept that Ben just thought the word “Wite-Out” in her mind and then it magically appeared in front of her. Like, at least show us a slo-mo shot of Ben dramatically pulling the Wite-Out from her ass-crack and winking at the camera!
Anyway, we have a few other thoughts on this episode. In addition to gagging over the presence of Adam Lambert and Baby Spice, we got a little mad at Bebe this week. Like, that’s cool that she just rearranged random noises from “Lady Marmalade” for her “Drag Up Your Life” verse, but her lame simulacrum of Sasha Velour’s Season 9 finale Rose Head Reveal basically cancelled that out. Like, she even copied the dramatic shaking and everything. Or as Aja put it: “You ain’t no Sasha Velour, bitch … Keep your wig on!”
And while Chi Chi DeVayne barely made a splash this week, she at least pointed out the thing we’ve been saying all along: Milk’s oversized ego comes from her hotness out of drag. (In other words, when people tell you you’re pretty your whole life, you begin to think that putting a fake gap in your front teeth is revolutionizing drag.) However, we almost believed Milk was on her way to a whole Milkestential crisis when she began crying and asking the producers, “Am I an asshole?” Considering the fact that this came during a confessional after the season wrapped up, we’re going to assume she was well on her way to a legitimate Ru-ckoning.
Also, are Shangela’s shady confessionals going to come back to haunt her? She talks a big game about loyalty and kindness to the other queens’ faces, but then she spends like half of her confessionals cruelly honing in on their flaws and weaknesses. Is it a defense mechanism? Did she start taking Psych 101 in night school immediately after finishing Season One of Game of Thrones? At least she’s stopped verbally jacking off Daenerys Targaryen.
Quotes of the week:
ChiChi: “I don’t want to be the Roxxxy of All Stars 3.”
Carson on Kennedy’s wig: “The hair’s a little ‘Newark Realtor’ for me.”
[Everything from Trixie’s “nymphomaniac Mathlete” performance in “Sitting On a Secret”]
Kennedy to Milk: “You don’t get why I sent you home? I have a lot of reasons.”