The sequel to be Mamma Mia might just end up being called Mia, because Meryl Streep — the undisputed “mamma” — is nowhere in sight.
Horrifyingly, all of the characters in the trailer for Mamma Mia 2 talk about Streep’s character Donna in the past tense:
“Your mother was the bravest person we ever met.”
“Let me tell you how she did it, all on her own.”
“She wasn’t scared, because she had me.”
Obviously, this is some kind of clever diversionary tactic to make us THINK that Donna is dead, when in fact she simply had a major falling out with everyone in the movie and is now “Eat Pray Love”-ing her way around the world or on the first mission to colonize Mars.
It doesn’t seem likely though, as the trailer hints at Amanda Seyfried’s character learning how to raise a baby without her mother present. This is, of course, in addition to a lot of kissing, clapping, singing, massive choreographed dancing, and beautiful young people. Fortunately, only the young versions of Pierce Brosnan and Stellan Skarsgard are hotter than their adult counterparts. After all, middle-aged women would probably revolt if anyone came for Colin Firth’s status as a sex god.
Another clue may be the teaser poster for the sequel. Streep has 10th billing – a far cry from top billing in the original.
However, there will still be a lot of music in Mamma Mia 2, which is honestly very reassuring. At least the producers of the Mamma Mia franchise haven’t pulled the rug out from under us in that regard. And judging by the trailer, we will see some repeats such as “Dancing Queen,” “I Have a Dream,” and — shocker — “Mamma Mia” … but beyond that, it’s anyone’s guess. Reportedly, the sequel will include “Angel Eyes,” “I Wonder,” and “When I Kissed The Teacher,” but no word yet on whether the new original song “Where the Fuck is Meryl Streep,” penned by the writers of We are Flagrant, will be submitted for consideration at the 2019 Academy Awards.
Also, holy shit, we forgot about CHER. She shows up for two seconds and calls Amanda Seyfried “little girl,” and it’s everything, and … well, just watch the damn thing.