Smoky Lies: Sarah Sanders ‘No Comment’ After Trump Admits Stormy Buyout

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“Michelle Wolf committed a woman-on-woman hate crime,” said Republicans, after comedian Michelle Wolf joked about Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ untruthfulness at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday. “Michelle Wolf’s jokes about Sarah Huckabee Sanders were unfounded and based unfairly on her looks,” said media heavyweights after Wolf rightly identified them at that same dinner as the people responsible for turning Donald Trump into a winning presidential candidate.

“Michelle Wolf was right this whole time,” said neither of these two groups after Sarah Huckabee Sanders was discovered today to have been right this whole time.

Despite claiming in March that there was “no knowledge” of President Trump’s payments to Stormy Daniels to keep her quiet during his election, Sanders was discovered recently to have blatantly lied about that — and this time, she didn’t have the press’s sympathy. And GOP Rep Charlie Dent has had enough of the obfuscating from the White House press secretary.

After Trump’s new lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, admitted to Fox News Wednesday night that Trump had, in fact, known about the hush money (obvs), members of the press confronted Sanders today over the revelation — and she once again claimed ignorance over the whole thing. Lawd, Sarah, if you had any common sense you’d just “bye bitch” this whole operation and give the podium back to Sean Spicer! At least he’d give the press a TINY bit of information, like the country’s nuclear codes or something.

Anyway, we’re also confused as to why Rudy Giuliani straight up just threw his client under the bus last night. Does he not actually plan on helping his client at any point? Is he possibly the worst lawyer to ever walk the face of this beautiful Earth? Or did he just Trojan horse his way onto Trump’s team to sabotage the operation and save America?

We could definitely see Trump being desperate enough to hire Giuliani as a last resort, despite there being no past evidence to support the notion that Giuliani would actually be his friend or help him. “Please, Rudy, there’s no one left on my side. Pretend to be on my side!” – Trump. “Sure. But P.S. I do think you’re despicable and should be put in jail immediately.” – Giuliani. “I knew I could count on you.” – Trump, already in a food coma from his second Big Mac.

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