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Doug Jones’ Son Carson Is All Of Us, Withering Side-Eye Destroys Pence

Featured, Politics  

A photo of Doug Jones getting sworn in by Mike Pence has gone viral for one reason and one alone: Jones’ handsome gay son, Carson, giving the VP major side-eye.

Carson can be seen in the picture giving Pence some serious shade, which has naturally attracted the attention of the entire Internet. Of course, the side-eye could just be the product of an unfortunately timed photo, but knowing Pence’s record for being an anti-gay bigot, we’re going to assume otherwise.

Carson’s 2107 Instagram Best 9

When he was governor of Indiana, Pence attempted to block same-sex marriage from becoming legal, signed a controversial “religious freedom” law legalizing discrimination, and opposed the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the military. He also recently attended the very anti-LGBTQ Values Voter Summit, and even suggested he wants to “hang the gays,” according to President Trump.

So yeah, Carson Jones was most likely “silently disintegrating the soul of Mike Pence,” as one Twitter user put it.

But that’s not the only thing Carson could have been doing. Some other possible thoughts going through his head:

“Don’t pretend you weren’t on Grindr last night.”

“I will organize a queer dance party in front of your house every … damn … day.”

“I wonder if I could get away with rolling up my zookeeper shorts into booty shorts.”

“Ugh I hope Karen remembered to feed the monkeys today.”

“One day, I will be the first openly gay President of the United States.”

“My first order of business will be to make side-eyes mandatory.”

“Seriously tho, Pence. I will destroy you.”

“I wonder if Ariana Grande could be my Secretary of State.”

Meanwhile, Rich Hobson, a.k.a. Roy Moore‘s former campaign manager, just announced he’s running in a Republican primary for Congress. Apparently, Hobson thinks that Moore lost the election not because of Hobson’s incompetence at handling the accused sexual predator’s campaign, but because of magic.

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