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In Lieu Of Gifts: Royal Couple Ask For Donations To Homeless, HIV, Other Charities

Featured, Politics  

Half the world is jealous of her and the other half is figuring out how to Single White Female their way into her life — so what’s a royal princess to do with all that attention? One-up the haters, obvi.

As critics across the land continue to waste their money on Cheetos and Adderall for their eight-hour-long blogging snarkfests about Meghan Markle’s latest brunch dress, Markle and her hubby-to-be, Prince Harry, just announced that they’re accepting donations to charity in lieu of wedding gifts. How’s that $5 donation to the Human Rights Campaign feeling right about now?

The palace, a.k.a. Meghan Markle’s personal P.R. firm for the rest of her life, has revealed that the couple is urging donations to seven organizations: Chiva (Children’s HIV Association); Myna Mahila Foundation (a Mumbai-based employment program); Scotty’s Little Soldiers (a charity for bereaved armed forces children); Crisis (a national charity for homeless people); StreetGames (a charity for disadvantaged youth); The Wilderness Foundation UK (a premier environmental charity); and Surfers Against Sewage (pretty much how it sounds.)

We knew it wouldn’t take long for Meghan Markle to become the Angelina Jolie of Great Britain. Or wait, no … The Princess Di of America? No, that’s not right either. The Elsa of London? Idk, this got away from us.

According to The Guardian, the singling out of a homeless charity on the couple’s list of charities might not be an accident. Recently, the British crown attracted criticism when a British politician called on police to clear “rough sleepers” from the town where Markle and the Prince are getting married next month. (In Britain, “rough sleepers” means “homeless folks” and not “two people at the beginning of a Sleep Number infomercial before they buy their Sleep Number bed.”)

We’re just happy that the Elsa of London is living her best life. Wait, no. The Moana of Europe? Ugh, forget it.

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